Let's Play a Game: Treeball

You need a big tree and an old football

AI: A realism painting of a brown American football in the grass under a large oak tree in a suburban park, a bright sunny summer day

I IMAGINE GROUPS OF KIDS EVERYWHERE inventing a game similar to this one. Hell, you might've already played a game like this yourself. My brothers and I came up with this game in our teens when we had a football but not enough people to actually play football. This is our version.

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First, the tree must be deciduous, which simply means a tree that sheds its leaves seasonally. You can't play Treeball with an evergreen tree. Besides, you'd get sap all over the ball.

The original Treeball Tree

Second, you need a football. Since it's going to be bouncing off of branches, and maybe cars, a house, a street, a fence... it shouldn't be your best football. If you've got a football with some of the pigskin tearing that you have to inflate it weekly, you might have yourself a perfect Treeball.

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Treeball

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Items Needed

:: A large, deciduous tree with plenty of empty space below and around it, at least on one side
:: An old football

Find a tree in your front yard, at a park, anywhere really. If there is a street near the tree, even with parked cars, that's okay. The cracks in the street can form your "Launch Zones," and cars and fences are simply obstacles in the game.

The Rules

:: Players: 3 to 5. (If you have more players than that, you can play football!)

:: Establish 2 to 4 separate Launch Zones. These should be a good distance from the Tree but close enough to hit it with a thrown football. 15-25 yards from the trunk is a good start. Each Launch Zone can be a different distance from the Tree. A Launch Zone should be defined by natural elements in the environment: cracks in the street; a patch of dandelions; "this side of the driveway;" etc. Only the front of the Launch Zone really matters, the line between the Launch Zone and the Tree. Each Launch Zone should have sufficient room to accommodate all of the players.

:: Players take turns being the Launcher. The oldest player is the first Launcher.

:: The Launcher chooses a Launch Zone, and all players stand behind the front line that defines it, leaving plenty of space in the center for the Launcher.

:: The Launcher can choose to either throw or kick the Football into the Tree.

:: No one can exit the Launch Zone until the Football has been Launched, and then it's a sprint towards the Tree. If someone jumps out before the Football has left the Launcher's hand or foot, you do the Launch over and ridicule the offender for exiting the Launch Zone prematurely.

:: If the Football does not make contact with the Tree, it's an illegal Launch called a "Flanders" requiring a relaunch. The Launcher gets 25 points deducted from their score, and the Launcher gets one more try.
:: If the second attempt at a Launch misses the Tree, it's a "Double Flanders," the Launcher gets an additional 50 points deducted from their score, and the Launch passes to the next player.

:: Negative numbers count so if the Launcher's score is 0 and they commit a Flanders, it goes to -25. There's no lower limit to a Treeball score.

:: Once the Football has been legally Launched and is on its way to the Tree, all players sprint to the Tree while the ball is bouncing down through the branches. The goal is to catch the Football.

Scoring:
:: If a player catches the Football before it hits the ground, the player gets +100 points.
:: If a player catches the Football after it bounces off the ground once, the player gets +50 points. Note: If the Football bounces off of anything other than the ground, like a car, a house, another player, etc., it is still worth 100 points until it makes contact with the ground.
:: If a player touches the Football while trying to catch it but doesn't, that player gets -100 points.
:: If a player touches the Football after it bounces off the ground once but does not catch it, that player gets -50 points.

:: If the Football hits the ground a second time, it's dead and that Launch is over.

:: If multiple players reach the Tree and are jostling for position while it tumbles through the Tree, a little pushing and shoving is natural, but remember, this game is called Treeball, not "Elbow Your Friends in the Teeth." (But hell, if you and your friends are comfortable making the bottom of the Tree a mosh pit, who the hell am I to tell you not to play the Punk Rock version of Treeball.)

:: Whoever does catch the Football gets their points and becomes the next Launcher.

:: If no one catches it before it hits the ground twice, the Launcher becomes the player who has gone the longest without being the Launcher. If more than one player has not had a chance to be the Launcher, then the oldest of that group becomes the Launcher.

:: The first player to get exactly 500 points wins the game.

:: The Launcher may do an "Intentional Flanders" by tossing the ball to the ground just outside of the Launch Zone if they need to even out their score, however...

:: A player cannot win the game on a Flanders or Double Flanders. If they have 525 points and they commit a Flanders, intentional or not, 25 points is technically deducted from the score, but then it gets added back on because you can't win the game that way. No change to the score.

If the Football gets stuck in the Tree, it's dead. Then you have to throw baseballs at it until somebody knocks it loose. Or use a pole, a slingshot, whatever method is popular in your neighborhood. (You know how to get a football out of a tree.) Once it's out of the Tree, the game resumes and the same Launcher goes again.

The deduction of points on a miss applies to all players who touch the Football without catching it so if you're going to go for it, you better catch it.

This game relies a lot on being honest. You really get to know your friends that way.

Hey! Did you touch that football before it hit the ground?

Yeah. Minus a hundred for me.

Sample Scenario

If the Football is launched, falls through the Tree, and Frank tips it with his fingers, bouncing it over to Geraldine who also bobbles it, then it bounces off the ground and is caught by Rita, then: Frank and Geraldine each get 100 points subtracted from their score, Rita gets 50 points added to hers, and she becomes the Launcher.

If the Football touches as little as a single leaf of the Tree, it is a legal Launch.

Techniques and strategies: If you're fast, maybe you throw it towards the outer canopy of the Tree so it falls faster through the smaller branches. If you need to catch your breath, try to hit the center of the Tree as high as possible to give the Football a longer bouncy trip to the ground.

I suppose you could use orange cones to define the Launch Zones, but then you need fucking orange cones. A nice feature of this game is that you only need a tree and football.

Have fun.

The big, bad tree we used to invent, develop and play the first-ever games of Treeball

THE END_

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