FLEARNING Lesson #143: All about the number Pi
This educational article is just for the kids!
What the heck is “FLEARN” ?
Go ahead and hand over the iPad to your kids so they can enjoy Life. And Scoreboards too. I like to say that the L.AS Substack site is fun for the whole family, and this article is us putting our money where our mouth is.
I'm serious so hand it over. Just for the kiddos!
Thank you.
Hey Kids, are you ready to Flearn?
What the heck is Pi? How do you even pronounce it?
Well, that's the easy part, Kids, because it sounds just like the yummy thing you eat: "pie."
Pi and Pie are pronounced the same!!
But I wouldn't want to eat Pi! Ha, ha.
Kids, Pi is actually a number. And do you know what your math teacher is gonna call this number? Your math teacher will tell you that Pi is an irrational number.
I know what you're thinking: Irrational! Does that mean it's going to drink a 12-pack of beer and then accuse my teddy bear of having an affair with a throw pillow?
Golly, no!
Want to see what it looks like as a number?
Here you go: 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197.
Guess what? That's not all of it. That's just Pi to 30 decimal places.
Pi is such a big, irrational number that do you know how many total digits Pi is?
Is it twice as long? 60 digits? Nope. It's longer than that.
A HUNDRED times as long?!! Do you mean 600 digits? That's huge!! But guess what?
It's longer than that even.
1,000 digits? Nope.
Is Pi a million digits?
Still not even close, Kids.
It goes on forever! There is no end.
Let's look at the first 1,000 digits.
Let's give these guys a big ol' shout out for letting me steal this off their website because as a public school teacher, I usually have to pay for the sh—stuff I need for class myself. So this was a handy shortcut. Thanks, Cuemath!! Retroactively, because we just ripped it off the 'net without asking.
https://www.cuemath.com/questions/what-are-1000-digits-of-pi/
Anywho, Kids. Let's take a look at this great, big ol' thousand-digit-long number while I smoke a cigarette.
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510
58209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679
82148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128
48111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196
44288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091
45648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273
72458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436
78925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094
33057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548
07446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912
98336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798
60943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132
00056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872
14684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235
42019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960
51870721134999999837297804995105973173281609631859
50244594553469083026425223082533446850352619311881
71010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303
59825349042875546873115956286388235378759375195778
18577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989Hey, Kids. Are the dumb adults gone now?
Great. Math usually bores the shit out of most adults. I knew it would do the trick.
So here's the real article. I've got a way we can both make some money.
I'll keep this article brief because I know you're a kid with a short attention span and reading isn't usually fun. But you'll like reading this.
Remember that the word Ransom really only matters if you're 18 or older. Until you turn 18 and legally become an adult, you can practically get away with murder. Come to think of it, if you're like, under 10 years old, you could probably literally get away with murder because you're "too young to know better" or whatever. But we like to keep it light here at Life. And Scoreboards so let's focus instead on the area of white-collar crime. Kids, that's stuff like money laundering and bank fraud. The people who do that usually wear a suit, hence the "white collar." Today we’re gonna talk about extortion. It's a way to make money that's also a lot of fun.
While the stupid kids next-door are selling their watered-down lemonade and making a couple nickels per hour, you'll be raking in the dough. (That's what adults call money.)
Your parents will be the target. They'll get to see in person how smart you are and how much you’ve learned. And if things happen to go south, they won't send you up the river. The worst they'll do is to ground you for a couple of days. Even though that sucks, it's much better than going to the Big House for 10 years.
The bottom line here is that it’s a perfect time in your life for a little extortion because you have very little to lose and a lot to gain, so let's get started!
First thing, and this is very important, select a time when your parents are gone or busy downstairs watching TV. If your parents are heavy drinkers, they're likely to fall asleep after a drinking binge. This is great time to go to work. Another good time is early morning on Saturday while they're sleeping in with a hangover. You have options depending on what time of day you do your best work.
This is EXTORTION. Here we go!
Items you'll need:
Your parents’ credit card
Paper
Pen
Black magic marker
All the canned food in your pantry
Step 1: Subscribe to Life. And Scoreboards
Grab your parent's credit card:
Don't forget the expiration date and code on the back (sometimes on front). I'm sure you already know how to do it. That was for those younger kids.
It’s best to just subscribe for a year. It’s a better deal that way—and there will only be one charge on your parents’ credit card instead of one each month.
On my end, I'll make the payment description read "LIFEANDSCORE.SUBSTACK" so when your parents see it, they'll either think the other parent subscribed, or they did it themselves while they were buzzed. Just be sure to tell your parents how educational it is. How you've “learned more from reading Life. And Scoreboards than at school even," you could say. A small charge for child education on a credit card summary will be the last thing they'll question.
Step 2: Gather all the canned food in the house
Place all the cans on a large table. With your black magic marker, draw a "1" on the top of a can. Now start a list on your pad of paper by writing "1" followed by the label on that can.
Now remove the label and throw it in a paper bag.
Take another can, write a "2" on top, and add it to the list. Tear off the label and throw it in the bag.
Repeat this for all the cans.
Step 3: Destroy the labels
When no one is looking, toss the paper bag of labels into a metal trash can outside by the shed, or a wheelbarrow, or just a shallow hole in the dirt. Somewhere that won't burn the neighborhood down when you light it on fire.
Now the only way anyone will ever know what's inside each of those cans is with your list.
Step 4: Hide your list
Very important. This list is the key to the plan and doubles as your lifeline until you get the bread. (That's what adults call money.)
Where? Do not hide it anywhere in your bedroom. Believe me, that's the first place they'll look. I'm a parent, I know. See, you're getting inside information here—another reason why this is gonna work.
Does your family play boardgames? If it's been a long time, hide the list inside one of the boxes. A great place to hide it, and it offers a bit of a safety net for you. If things start going south and it looks like you're gonna get spanked or grounded for a year, just take your parents with you and open the "SORRY!" box. Before you hand over the list, act sad, look down at the floor and say, "Well, it's been so long since we've played games together as a family, I guess I just..." and then start crying.
You'll get off scot-free. But you will have to play a few dumb games with your parents to make it look good.
Step 5: Wait until dinner
First, they need to need the list. When your parents go to make dinner and see the cans, they will have no idea what's inside any of them. If they want to make Mini Ravioli-O’s but dump out a can of peas instead, that would be a nightmare. They need to know. You have the list.
Play it cool and when they confront you, playfully tell them that for $20, you'll give them the list that decodes all the cans.
Bam! There's your payoff. You're loaded with scratch now. (That's what adults call money.)
Once Mom or Dad hand over the twenty, go get the list and give it to them. You can still do the "it's been so long since we've played games together as a family" thing to smooth over any rough edges. Kids, con artists call this last part, cooling the mark.
:- =--= = === -=- = -- === =- =-=- -= =- =--- - --=- --= =-:
If you'd like to add another layer of security and you have a cute little sister or brother, use them as a proxy so they'll take the fall if the heat comes down on us. What's a proxy?
Well, we'll flearn about that one in the next lesson because we are just getting started. Together, we’ll learn all kinds of cool ways for you to make your own money. We'll put the rest of these "Flearning" articles behind the paywall so your cheap parents won't find out.
Here's the button again so you won’t miss any money-making articles.
Remember, if you do get busted for some reason, tell them you got the idea from some bully in the neighborhood. Just leave my name out of it. Never rat on your friends, Kids. You can find valuable life lessons anywhere if you know how to look, even from the Mob. More on all of that in future lessons.
What do you say, Kids? Let's have some fun and make some cabbage. (That's what adults call money.)
Stay cool, Kids.
THE END_