Bras and the Flush Toilet
Baby Shower Fund Update- Pool 3/Game 5: 2007-08_Sat 12/15/2007 10:47 PM
Well, tonight there was a fight. Laperriere is back in the lineup and in fine form, bashing Vernon Fiddler in the face. With a name like “Vernon Fiddler,” I’m sure he used to being beaten up.
But anyway—no one was in range of the fight tonight and the Baby Shower Fund is now up to $98. Maybe, possibly, hopefully... it will cruise past the coveted $100 threshold next game, which is next Friday, December 21st vs. the New York Rangers.
That night, technically, will be the last night of autumn. It is still fall. Can you believe it? It won’t officially be winter until shortly after the game that night, at 11:08pm. Be sure to factor that in when you ponder your Baby Shower Fund entries for the night.
Also ponder this:
The last time the Avs played the Rangers here, according to The Casino records, was on November 20, 2003. There was no fighting that night. The season prior to that, on February 23, 2003, the Rangers were in town but once again, there were no fights. That’s all the data we have on the Rangers.
You may also ponder this:
Isn’t it amazing that of all of the people in the world, a guy named Otto Titzling invented the bra. Wow.
Actually, that’s bullshit. There was no such person as Otto Titzling. Besides, one of the problems in determining who invented the bra is defining exactly what a bra is, or was. Ancient Greek women wore chest-binding tops while exercising. More recently, there were metallic garments used as “bras” back in the 1850s. Then, Clara P. Clark invented an “improved corset” back in 1874 designed to serve the purpose of... well, what a bra is supposed to do. Olivia P. Flynt created what she called a “bust supporter” two years later that is even closer in resemblance to today’s bras. A guy named Charles Moorehouse invented an inflatable breast enlarging garment in 1885. The pervert.
Most experts though, it seems, credit 19th-century French feminist Herminie Cadolle as the actual inventor of the brassiere in 1889. So when people giggle and tell you Otto Titzling invented the bra, you can tell them they are incorrect. Feel free to kick ‘em in the balls too if you want.
You may even ponder this:
How wild is it that a guy named Thomas Crapper invented the flush toilet? I mean, “Crapper!” Invents the toilet. That you crap in! Wow.
Feel free to kick that guy in the balls too because that is also bullshit.
Actually, you should just kick ‘em in the shins because there actually was a guy named Thomas Crapper and he actually was a plumber back in the 1800s. He took out a total of nine patents in the plumbing field—but none were for a flushing toilet.
The first patent for a “siphonic flush” was given to Joseph Adamson in 1853, eight years before Tom ever started his plumbing business. So Joe was pretty much the inventor of the flush toilet.
Why should you ponder all of this? I don’t know. We didn’t have much data on the Rangers so I figured I’d beef up the update with other, very relevant information.
If you haven’t been in the current Baby Shower Fund, it will only cost $10 to catch up, plus $2 for each entry you want for the next game.
Good luck, Suckers.
Regards,
Manager—Your Favorite Casino
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