Behind the Scenes - Hey, Why Not the Axe, Too!
In "Dave Borrows JD's Car," we'll need two firetrucks and a fire crew.
It was August of 1992 when we decided to destroy my car in the name of entertainment. The 1973 Ford LTD had served us well over the years. A big, heavy fence-crasher, we got into trouble many times in many western states in that car. Every time though, we seemed to find a way out of it.
The engine developed an issue that required a rebuild that we couldn't afford, but the body remained straight and largely dent-free. When you have your own TV show, everything in sight becomes a possible target — a seed for something interesting — and when we did the math:
Dying Engine + Nice Body + TV Show = a segment we would later title, "Dave Borrows JD's Car." (Hey, we don't waste our time on fancy titles, okay?)
Where the Ball Arena sports complex and surrounding parking lots are today in Lower Downtown Denver (LoDo), used to be part of Denver’s industrial-zoned Central Platte Valley. Adjacent to the rail lines were warehouses and truck yards wide enough for sixty-foot semitrucks to maneuver, back in, and turn around.
By the time we drove the LTD onto it in 1992, all of the warehouses were gone. All that remained was the scrubby truck-turnaround yard and one massive, four-foot-tall concrete foundation from a warehouse that had been razed years earlier. The giant slab and the apron in front of the truck dock were the perfect tools to finish the job of destroying the car. The detritus of sticks, cans, and empty bottles littered the crumbling asphalt for acres.
After damaging the LTD in the parking lots of Mile High Stadium and a liquor store, we drove it here. It was the perfect place to finish the job. It was Friday. We knew once this stage of shooting was complete, the car would no longer be drivable on the streets. Our stunt driver, Scott, was part of the crew that day.
When the job was done, we drove what was left of it to a spot that was out of the way but with access to the front and back so a flatbed tow truck could pick it up the following Monday. The sun had set while we were packing up the camera gear.
Erich, Dave, Scott and I celebrated the shoot with a couple pizzas and several pitchers of beer at the Old Chicago in LoDo.
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The next afternoon, Erich and I had some business across town and on the way there, we decided to swing by and check out the LTD in the daylight. We did not have the cameras with us. They were back home with a drained battery on the charger.
As we approached the old truck yard area, trying to remember the exact spot, we could see a plume of black smoke in the distance. As we got closer, we realized it was coming from near the slab, and our car. Then we saw the orange flames. And firetrucks.
"Don't turn, don't turn. Just keep going," I tell Erich.
I wondered how our car had caught fire. As we drove away, I ran it all through my head and there was no way we could avoid responsibility. Even though we had cleaned the car of all identifying documents, the VIN was still there and besides, it was my car — even though we didn't light it on fire, we needed to do the right thing and turn back. I would just explain what happened and ask the fire crew how it caught on fire. I was kind of curious about that anyway.
As we pulled into the truck yard, however, we discovered it was not our car that was on fire after all. Not far from our disabled fence-crasher were the remnants of an old wooden shed now ablaze in the middle of the afternoon. Our beat-to-shit car with the huge hole through the windshield was parked nearby but wasn't causing any trouble at all.
So there we were, Erich and I. Filmmakers. Sitting there staring out the windshield at two free firetrucks parked right next to our busted-up car.
"ERICH!" I banged my hands on the dashboard. “We need the camera!”
The mission was obvious: Speed home, call Dave, and get him and the camera shit down here—ASAMFP.
We calculated that on a Saturday, we could make the round trip to the house and return with the camera gear in 25 minutes. Maybe less.
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No one had cellphones back then.
We had to speed home. As Erich pulled into our driveway, I was already stepping out of the car heading to the front door. We executed the plan we assembled in the car on the way home: I immediately grabbed the phone off the kitchen wall and called Dave with the push-button phone; Erich started packing the camera gear. We now had one fully charged camera battery. Our goal was to be back on the road in 90 seconds or less.
Thankfully, Dave was at home and wasn't doing anything important other than smoking a joint.
"We just drove past the LTD and there are firetrucks right next to it. A wooden shed caught fire,” I continued, “and we need to get down there as fast as fucking possible to shoot you with the trucks."
"Got it," he said.
"They could be leaving any minute. Erich and I are out the door right now. Oh, and be sure to wear the same wardrobe."
"I'm on my way."
If the fire was still raging, that would be glorious, but we knew it was a long-shot.
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Thank god for Saturday afternoon traffic. If this was a weekday, stand-still rush hour traffic would've killed everything.
Dave's place was farther away from the city than our house. We beat him downtown, and to my utter surprise and fullest sense of joy as we turned onto the lot again, the firetrucks were still there. There were some cinders being hosed down, but the orange flames were gone. The fire crew would be leaving soon. Erich set the camera up on "sticks" while we waited for the talent to arrive on set.
We had no idea how this would fit into the story, but we’d make it fit. The only thing I knew for sure was this: We were damn-well going to get a shot of firetrucks with lightbars rolling right next to the late, great LTD.
Erich shot some B-roll cover footage we could use just in case they rolled outta there before Dave arrived.
Then the bot inside my head began writing the scene. We didn't have mics so there would be no dialogue. But the bot kept inserting a fireman. It could not write the scene without at least one fireman in the shot interacting with Dave. Otherwise, Dave's just standing there with his thumb up his ass.
So I did what a filmmaker does and approached the fire crew. I got the attention of the firefighter farthest from the scene, closest to me. He was wearing the standard-issue firefighting overalls with suspenders over a long-sleeve black shirt. The sound of the fire hose made it difficult to hear each other so I shouted as I explained that the car sitting over there was mine and that we had been filming a TV show the previous afternoon. It wasn't drivable, but we were having it towed on Monday.
After he relayed my tale to the captain, the fireman returned to say all was good, thanks for reporting it, it shouldn't be a problem. Then he started chuckling at the damage we had done to the car. When I told him the plot, how Dave had "borrowed my car," he thought it was hilarious. I told him Dave was gonna pull into the parking lot any second so we could shoot more footage with the firetrucks.
He was really friendly. It was the perfect moment so I asked him flatly: "Would you like to be in the show?"
He smiled and shook his head no, backing away, but if I was going to reel him in, it was now or never.
"Man, it would be so much funnier if there was a firefighter in the scene. We need some action. Some kinetic energy. Some interaction. This show airs on KUBD Channel 59 at 1:30 AM on Friday nights. You could see yourself on TV."
He hesitated.
"C'mon, Man. It'll be fun."
He asked me what he would have to do, and I figured if he and Dave just pantomimed some stuff, we could finish the joke later with a voiceover when we edited it together.
He asked his captain for permission to make his screen debut in our awesome show and got it. Just then, Dave pulled into the parking lot and stopped behind Erich and the camera. While Erich briefed him on our discussion with the fire crew, I got our new actor ready.
I thought, If we're gonna do this, we should do it right.
"Is there any way you could put on one of those yellow jackets? And like, wear a fire helmet maybe? I think it works best the more you look like the traditional fireman."
He obliged. While grabbing his jacket from the side of the fire engine, I saw the axe clamped to the truck. That was my final request.
"Yeah, it'll look bad ass with you holding that axe."
While I was preparing the fireman for the small screen, Erich and Dave shot some B-roll footage of the scene. We used a shot of Dave cleaning what's left of the windshield with a squeegee as a joke in an insert shot.
Once the fireman was dressed and holding his axe, I guided him to a spot where he'd be in frame with the trucks, the busted car, and Dave, and then I ducked behind the camera with Erich. We would shout out directions to them both once we began rolling footage.
Dave was smoking a cigarette. I asked him to put it out before we started rolling, but then Erich hit on an idea.
"We should have the fireman tell Dave to put out his cigarette," he suggested.
That was perfect. Erich hit [Record].
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One thing Erich and I were terrible at the first time around was credits. Lots of random people appeared in our show and I don't think we got anyone's name. We do not have a record of the fireman's name, but he was really awesome.
You can check it out now on our YouTube channel, ZenDog Films.
JD's Swingin' Meat Gallery - Episode 3
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