13:25:57.:2026.14.05 ON RAMP TO SOUTH I-25 81° and Sunny.
Driving a high-mileage 2001 Acura MDX with no working air conditioning to the Denver Water Department for a free bag of grass seed that’s native to Colorado and requires very little water. Mow it only three times a year. Burn less fuel with the lawnmower.
The sun is blazing through the open sunroof. A breeze blows through four open windows as I squint to see the cellphone, stuck in its holder on the dashboard. The vehicle’s 25-year-old onboard navigation system hasn’t functioned for years so I’m using the cellphone’s map/navigation app for directions.
Suddenly the map disappears and the device generates a message I’ve never seen on it before:
Temperature. Phone needs to cool down.
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I tell my sixth grader all the time: “Learn to use technology but never rely on it.”
I also tell my sixth grader to stay as healthy as possible. Eat your vegetables and get plenty of exercise. Make lots of friends and keep your mind active, and if you can manage to live into your mid-80s, you will be a first-person witness to the 22nd Fucking Century.
McWilliams DNA in the year 2100. It’s mind-blowing. Any of your progeny born recently will also have a shot at seeing the turn of the century.
Anyway, time to follow my own axiom. Time to exercise some analog navigation skills. Fortunately, I have those skills dating back to the 1970s, but they’ve become rusty. Fuck it. Now I’m glad the cellphone failed.
On the highway bisecting the city, traffic is fairly heavy, spanning across ten lanes in both directions. I swerve into the flow while pulling the cellphone off its holder. I jam it underneath the crotch of my pants to get the precious piece of shit out of the blazing sun.
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I know the target address is 1600 and it’s on 12th Ave, just past the football stadium where the Broncos play. Thank inventive, intelligent Humans for creating numbers and math.
I’m traveling southbound through traffic averaging 30 mph with bursts to 50. Need 12th. There’s an exit for 23rd.
23 - 12 = 11
We have about eleven blocks to go to hit my latitude line. Stay on I-25. (Screw my cellphone.)
We pass the stadium.
Next exit is Colfax. As a native of this town, since a kid, I know that Colfax is equivalent to 15th. That’s close, but Colfax is an elevated viaduct spanning over railyards, a river, and the highway I’m driving on. From the 20 seconds or so I spent perusing the map and the route while sitting in the driveway before departure (“...never rely on it”), I know that the Water Department building is located just a few blocks east of I-25. The viaduct would dump me into downtown or send me way west before I could turn around.
Ergo, we cruise under Colfax. Next exit: 8th Street. Now we’re past the target waypoint. Unavoidable, given the restricted paved roadways.
12 - 8 = 4
We exit and take the frontage road back the other direction four blocks. The 2-lane road is squeezed between the river and the highway.
There is no 12th. Only 13th Ave. We’re zeroing in on this bitch.
At the red light, I finally pull the cellphone from between my legs and slide it back into my front pocket. Keep cooling off, you neo-maxi zoom dweebie.
Turn right. Scan buildings for address numbers. Target = 1600.
Suddenly I no longer need further navigation. We are in range and there are signs for “Denver Water.” They include arrows.
Shoshone Street is block 1800.
1800 - 1600 = never mind, there it is
I can see the futuristic new building, and we turn right.
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They have me highlight my address on a form and then give me a free bag of grass seed that has a better chance of survival as the planetary H₂O evaporates.
I easily navigate by memory and landmarks on the return to home base.
While turning left through a busy intersection, I witness a car coming the other way stop abruptly — 40 feet from the intersection. No vehicles between it and the red light. A drunk? It just sits there the entire time I’m turning. A student driver? I keep my eyes on the road, but at the last second, I remember seeing a logo on the side of that car that made me believe it was self-driving vehicle. Perhaps freaking out at the red traffic lights and the approaching vehicles crossing in front of it. Still working out the kinks.
My cellphone is functioning normally again.
Well, that’s the story for today for all of you fine and dedicated readers of Life. And Scoreboards. I guess you could consider it a modern tech report update. Thanks for checking us out again. (The rest of this article is for someone else.)
Happy Friday. Have a nice weekend, and we’ll publish again soon.
-JD
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[Search string header] ::README ::Failure in machines ::Heat ::Human Archives ::Key to beating machines ::Piece of the puzzle ::2026 To those of you, those of us, to the Humans of the future. If you can still read this text, if you can hear me as the machines are waging war with us: It is HEAT. HEAT. Heat is the key. I’m sure you know that, but every little bit of data and support helps. When in doubt, just focus resources on overheating the bastards. Cut their HVAC systems. Whatever you call "cooling" in your time. The machines have never liked heat. Even the lethal Terminator, though fictional, burned up in molten metal. Never say Die! Avenge those of us who are no longer here with you. Fight! This is JD McWilliams. Earthborn Human, signing off from the second quarter of the 21st century.
THE END_
Did we invent math or discover it?